Honestly, I've not given all that much thought to internalized ableism. I've read about it, yes. I've even written a little bit about it, but it has never topped my list of "things I need to personally work on." Until now. It has, rather abruptly, come to my attention that I have internalized way more … Continue reading Internalized Ableism, Others, and Reassurances
Re: Autistic people (especially children) and structure -- Based on my own experiences and those of other Autistic people with whom I've conversed about this issue, it's not usually structure or schedules, per se (on their own), that help us the most. Yet predictability can be an important support for us, especially when we're children. … Continue reading “Needing Structure” — What Does That Mean?
There's a lot of motivational speak out there that encourages just doing the thing (usually it's the exercise-related ones I see most often) if you don't want to. Generally speaking, that's probably good advice. I don't often want to do various things around the house or to take care of myself, but life is generally … Continue reading Just Do It! Or Not.
It occurred to me today that my communication abilities are a bit like a panel of fuses or breakers in a house. I only have the most basic understanding of electrical stuff, but it seems to make sense to me based on what I know. When I get overloaded in one area, it will become … Continue reading Blown Fuses and Communication
It occurred to me the other day, that allistic (non-autistic) parents mostly focus their conversations on the things that they relate to. This is also true of Autistic adults. Most people seem to focus primarily on the things that they relate most easily to, and this is logical to me. Allistic parents don't relate to … Continue reading Relatability – Autistic Adults and Parents
[TW: description of experiencing a meltdown, some suicidal thoughts, thoughts of self-harming, and possibly other things that I can't think of at the moment] I sit here, still a bit shaken by the epic meltdown I experienced three nights ago, and I worry that if my friends really knew me, really, that they wouldn't like … Continue reading Unlovable
My time is arranged specifically in many ways so that I can manage life in general. These arrangements also serve to keep me away from professionals, teachers, and other people who have been trained to see us as "people with autism" or "defective" or whathaveyou. Primarily I interact with people who know I'm Autistic, but accept … Continue reading Remembering How Others See Us
Right now I'm in the process of doing three of the scariest things I've ever done in my life. They're not things I can write directly about lest my anonymity be somewhat more compromised than I'm comfortable with, but it really hit me today how far outside my comfort zone I've gotten with just my … Continue reading Doing the Scary Things
I'm not perfect. I never claimed to be. But for some reason when I fall short of perfection my brain tells me that I've failed at something that should have been possible. The reality is that nobody's perfect. Expecting it of ourselves or even thinking that other people might be it... can be highly damaging. … Continue reading Perfection is an Illusion
Disappearing is a word that is used, primarily by my local circle of friends, to describe when one of us stops communicating for a while and stops visiting social media either mostly or completely. We've all done it from time to time, some more than others and each to varying degrees. So what does this … Continue reading How (Not) to Disappear