I've written some about this topic before, regarding the joy I feel when I see other Autistic people moving in Autistic ways, but today I want to write about how my own movement affects and reflects my emotions. I get a little sweary at the very end when talking about getting rid of the allistic … Continue reading Autistic Body Language and Emotion
*College
Flashback Friday – Depression
TW: depression, eating disorder, self-harm, sexual assault (very brief mention), and suicidal thoughts/actions. CW: Higher education, therapy. My first official psychological diagnosis was Major Depression nearly 15 years ago. I was in college and, although I'd been extremely excited about attending college at first, my experience had rapidly gone downhill ever since I'd first arrived … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Depression
Flashback Friday – Freshman Year of College
CW: Passing mention of being suicidal and (later) skipping meals. I was so excited to leave home! My college choice was even based on the fact that it was over a thousand miles away from my parents' home. I could've gone to a state school, just over a hundred miles away, but I wanted to get … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Freshman Year of College
Negative Memories and Confusion
So, I mentioned in my previous post, that it's easier for me to access my positive memories than my negative memories. I've spent some time since writing that (it was scheduled several days ahead of publishing, this post is not) in thinking about why that might be and I believe the answer partially lies in … Continue reading Negative Memories and Confusion
In Which I First Show Confidence and Then Not
Two nights after my last blogged journal entry from 4+ years ago, I wrote this: So, the night before last I had a bit of a breakdown. I just cried and cried and talked... I can’t remember half of what I talked about. I should’ve written it down sooner. I have a really hard time remembering … Continue reading In Which I First Show Confidence and Then Not
Clothing and Other Adornments
I have always had a bit of a love-hate relationship with clothing. On the one hand, wearing clothing is necessary to go out in polite society and clothing can be helpfully protective against the many sensory antagonists in the world. On the other hand, it can often add to the sensory issues that I already deal with- especially … Continue reading Clothing and Other Adornments
Lining Things Up
Before I started really digging into online accounts of what living with autism was like, I hadn't particularly thought that I lined things up. Not unusually so, at any rate. I'd mainly heard stereotypical stories of little boys lining up cars or dinosaurs instead of playing with them and that description didn't fit me particularly … Continue reading Lining Things Up
Mamautistic 