I've written some about this topic before, regarding the joy I feel when I see other Autistic people moving in Autistic ways, but today I want to write about how my own movement affects and reflects my emotions. I get a little sweary at the very end when talking about getting rid of the allistic … Continue reading Autistic Body Language and Emotion
*Teen Years
Flashback Friday – Prophesy at my Summer Job
My 19th summer was spent working at a camp. Groups paid to come and use the campground and the camp provided food. I helped out with various things for very little pay because room and board was part of my pay. There were a few really amazing things about that summer and a lot of … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Prophesy at my Summer Job
Flashback Friday – Depression
TW: depression, eating disorder, self-harm, sexual assault (very brief mention), and suicidal thoughts/actions. CW: Higher education, therapy. My first official psychological diagnosis was Major Depression nearly 15 years ago. I was in college and, although I'd been extremely excited about attending college at first, my experience had rapidly gone downhill ever since I'd first arrived … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Depression
Blending In, Acceptance, and Disappointing Others
I'm not sure when I learned that I needed to blend in with others for self-preservation purposes. I'm certain that I was very young though. I know for a fact that this knowledge within myself was fairly firmly in place by the time I was 7 years old. Possibly earlier. Blending and the sense that … Continue reading Blending In, Acceptance, and Disappointing Others
Flashback Friday – Planning Everything
[image description: blue sky and cloud background. Text reads: "I picture myself running and my distress pursuing close behind. I will run at top speed if I'm around any other people, but eventually I get tired and the distress keeps getting bigger with longer legs until it can easily reach me. I try to ensure … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Planning Everything
Flashback Friday – Undergarments
TW: Puberty stuff, body image issues, misunderstanding. Underwear has always been a difficult topic for me. It's not the wearing of it that's most problematic, in my case. Rather, the things I find most difficult are other people's attitudes and expectations about underwear. Especially when they want to have a conversation with me about those … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Undergarments
Volunteering
Over the years I've tried to pay attention to my ability to do various things. However, I don't always manage to notice the relevant patterns until I've ended up in (multiple) difficult and/or embarrassing situations. Volunteering was one of the patternless things in my life until this month. From the time I was 12 years old, … Continue reading Volunteering
Flashback Friday – Christmas Eve Eve or Nap Day
I was around 12 or 13 years old when I discovered an amazing thing. If I took a nap on Christmas Eve Eve, the day before Christmas Eve, not only would Christmas seem to arrive faster, but I had an easier time navigating any family obligations that came up during that holiday. The discovery itself … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Christmas Eve Eve or Nap Day
Flashback Friday – My Lost Stuffed Dog
Photo description: white 1980s era stuffed dog peeking out of a red backpack with blue trim. I'd had my stuffed dog for as long as I could remember. He was my constant companion nearly everywhere I went. He comforted me when I was upset and slept with me every single night. He was my very … Continue reading Flashback Friday – My Lost Stuffed Dog
Election Eve Solace
I'm spending my time on this Election Eve primarily doing things that I enjoy. Watching the kids play with legos, working on my NaNoWriMo novel, eating comfort food (tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches followed by a dessert of Frosted Flakes cereal with the whole milk on the side so the flakes don't get soggy), … Continue reading Election Eve Solace
Mamautistic 