I've already written about how I lost my Pound Puppy (named Pound Puppy) as a teen and replaced him with another stuffed dog last year. Today, as I've recently been contemplating carrying my new stuffed dog to stressful dentist appointments, some memories of past public carrying have surfaced and are ready to be written about. … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Plush Animals in Public
Flashback Friday
Flashback Friday – Prophesy at my Summer Job
My 19th summer was spent working at a camp. Groups paid to come and use the campground and the camp provided food. I helped out with various things for very little pay because room and board was part of my pay. There were a few really amazing things about that summer and a lot of … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Prophesy at my Summer Job
Flashback Friday – Depression
TW: depression, eating disorder, self-harm, sexual assault (very brief mention), and suicidal thoughts/actions. CW: Higher education, therapy. My first official psychological diagnosis was Major Depression nearly 15 years ago. I was in college and, although I'd been extremely excited about attending college at first, my experience had rapidly gone downhill ever since I'd first arrived … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Depression
Flashback Friday – My Spinning Room
CW: internalized ableism, childhood experiences (both positive and negative) When I was in early elementary school we had just moved into a bigger house and there was a room without any furniture in it aside from a dining chair in one corner. I'd sit in that corner chair nearly every day after school because I'd … Continue reading Flashback Friday – My Spinning Room
Flashback Friday – Planning Everything
[image description: blue sky and cloud background. Text reads: "I picture myself running and my distress pursuing close behind. I will run at top speed if I'm around any other people, but eventually I get tired and the distress keeps getting bigger with longer legs until it can easily reach me. I try to ensure … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Planning Everything
Flashback Friday – Freshman Year of College
CW: Passing mention of being suicidal and (later) skipping meals. I was so excited to leave home! My college choice was even based on the fact that it was over a thousand miles away from my parents' home. I could've gone to a state school, just over a hundred miles away, but I wanted to get … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Freshman Year of College
Flashback Friday – 8 Year Old Hermit Plans
My highest aspiration, as an 8-year old, was to become a hermit when I grew up. Preferably on my own private island. My plans were never verbalized, that I remember. I had an image of myself living like Mary the vulture-lady in the Blossom Family books, picking up roadkill for soup and being all solitary … Continue reading Flashback Friday – 8 Year Old Hermit Plans
Flashback Friday – Christmas Eve Eve or Nap Day
I was around 12 or 13 years old when I discovered an amazing thing. If I took a nap on Christmas Eve Eve, the day before Christmas Eve, not only would Christmas seem to arrive faster, but I had an easier time navigating any family obligations that came up during that holiday. The discovery itself … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Christmas Eve Eve or Nap Day
Flashback Friday – My Lost Stuffed Dog
Photo description: white 1980s era stuffed dog peeking out of a red backpack with blue trim. I'd had my stuffed dog for as long as I could remember. He was my constant companion nearly everywhere I went. He comforted me when I was upset and slept with me every single night. He was my very … Continue reading Flashback Friday – My Lost Stuffed Dog
Flashback Friday – Evaluation Result Day
The morning of my final appointment, the one at which I would get my evaluation results, was a Friday morning very similar to this one. Ten weeks ago. Beforehand I wrote this (some strong and self-deprecating language) in my paper journal: What the fuck was I thinking? Today is the day. I don't see how there … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Evaluation Result Day
Mamautistic 