Words have been difficult again for a long time. In my mind I can often make the words, but then they won't come out or when they do come out it's not how I intended them to. So I've been rethinking about talking at all. The fact is that I do better when I don't … Continue reading Not Talking, Insert More Title Here
Marriage Stuff
Broken But Building Back
My words are starting to return a little bit. It's been months. Goodness only knows how long it'll take for them to be back to any kind of "normal" (for me) level. I think I wrote the quoted bit below about being wordless around a week ago. ____________________________ It's funny how wonky time goes. Buried, … Continue reading Broken But Building Back
Outsourcing Executive Functioning – Family Meetings
I, like many Autistic people, struggle with executive functioning (EF), which makes many aspects of parenting and running a household especially difficult for me. Note: For a general overview of what EF is and how it can impact people's lives, please check out this series of posts from Cynthia Kim. Over the past several months, … Continue reading Outsourcing Executive Functioning – Family Meetings
Accuracy in Questions and Answers
Disclaimer: When you've met one allistic (non-autistic), you've met one allistic! The communication quirks and difficulties my allistic counterpart presents may be totally different than the communication quirks and difficulties another allistic counterpart may present. My allistic counterpart and I recently unearthed another communication issue in our marriage. When I ask a question it's because … Continue reading Accuracy in Questions and Answers
My Allistic Counterpart
Finally I've settled on something to call my husband on this blog. He's my counterpart. Not only is that term accurate it also calls to my mind Star Wars' C-3P0 and R2-D2 which is a huge bonus in my opinion ❤ Anyhow! I've been married to a non-autistic (allistic) man pretty much for my entire … Continue reading My Allistic Counterpart
Work, Energy, & Autistic Inertia
CW: some internalized ableism regarding productivity and energy levels. I was (text) chatting with an Autistic friend a while back about how some of our abilities can make us appear to be far more functional to others than we actually are because we do some things that most people would find difficult to do, but … Continue reading Work, Energy, & Autistic Inertia
Autism, Chances, and Abuse
In the last several years I've watched many of my Autistic friends get out of bad or abusive relationships. The majority of these relationships lasted for over a decade or even two. It is such a sad thing to me that my friends were in abusive relationships for so many years and their situations have … Continue reading Autism, Chances, and Abuse
More About Time and Support
Time makes all the difference. When I have time, I can adjust my expectations. Time gives me an opportunity to analyze both what's happening outside myself and what's happening within. I have limited processing energy for dealing with outward changes and if I'm focused on that, I cannot pay attention to what's happening within myself. … Continue reading More About Time and Support
Time, Mutism, and Levels of Communication
In late April I figured out something else about some of the communication issues in my marriage, which led to a realization that there seem to be different levels of communication for me. Some are easier than others and I can occasionally experience mutism regarding the more difficult types while still managing to use the … Continue reading Time, Mutism, and Levels of Communication
Time, Processing, and Transitions
Unexpected events are largely unavoidable. Things happen, stuff comes up, plans change. I understand that. I also live with small unpredictable people, which adds another dimension to unexpectedness. I also recently learned of some insecurities on the part of my allistic (non-Autistic) husband that feed into many of the unexpected event-related difficulties in our marriage. More … Continue reading Time, Processing, and Transitions