To my Dear Neurosiblings (and to myself, as well), It is courageous to respect your needs. It requires immense strength to be able to admit that you need more support. Making accommodations for yourself or requesting them from others is a difficult task, at best. It can feel insurmountable at worst. It can feel like … Continue reading A Letter of Encouragement and Support
Communication Discouragement
I've felt a bit discouraged today. My rough two weeks are finished, but they were followed by another week, which had some difficult surprises of its own. That week began with a pretty startling (to me) miscommunication. I had tried my very best to craft a clear, concise, informational letter only to receive in return … Continue reading Communication Discouragement
Time, Mutism, and Levels of Communication
In late April I figured out something else about some of the communication issues in my marriage, which led to a realization that there seem to be different levels of communication for me. Some are easier than others and I can occasionally experience mutism regarding the more difficult types while still managing to use the … Continue reading Time, Mutism, and Levels of Communication
Stress and Avoidance
My default response to stress is avoidance. This is often unfortunate because avoidance tends to make the stress worse and yet, I always seem to end up there again the next time a large dose of stress catches me unaware. Currently I have a lot going on. There are multiple uncertainties I have to deal … Continue reading Stress and Avoidance
Reactions and Assumptions
I mentioned the idea of assumptions briefly in a previous post regarding how others often assume that Autistics are overreacting in various situations that we're actually experiencing as distressing or even traumatic. I'd also like for parents, teachers, and other professionals to be taught that we aren't overreacting in those situations. Rather, we are reacting … Continue reading Reactions and Assumptions
You’re In My Spot
Being upset when someone sits in "our" chair or takes "our" spot is an Autistic reaction that has moved from stereotype to joke. It's a bad joke because it's making fun of something that's often involuntary and extremely distressing to many of us. I realize that it can appear that we're overreacting to those who only see … Continue reading You’re In My Spot
Burned Bridges
For most of my life, my experiences were confusing and inexplicable. I could not explain, even to myself, most of what happened to me, others' reactions, or my own reactions to what was happening. In a post earlier this year I wrote: In the past I’ve run away from these events. I’d never return to … Continue reading Burned Bridges
Uniqueness and Late-Diagnosis
I've heard it said by allistics (non-Autistics) that people who are late-diagnosed Autistic just "want to be unique" or "think we're special." This is sometimes even theorized as the reason we go in to be evaluated as adults. Let's ignore the fact that many of us struggled, floundered, and failed for many years before gaining … Continue reading Uniqueness and Late-Diagnosis
Flashback Friday – Freshman Year of College
CW: Passing mention of being suicidal and (later) skipping meals. I was so excited to leave home! My college choice was even based on the fact that it was over a thousand miles away from my parents' home. I could've gone to a state school, just over a hundred miles away, but I wanted to get … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Freshman Year of College
Convergence
CW: the feeling of overwhelm All the things meeting together. April Autism Awareness, past resurfacing, traumatic space revisiting. Utter exhaustion. Hiding from the world, mostly. Time stretches on, limitless. Pulls, longer and longer. Floating in infinity. Until, like a rubber band, it snaps. Suddenly, it's two weeks in the future and there are hundreds of unread … Continue reading Convergence
Mamautistic 