CW: internalized ableism, childhood experiences (both positive and negative) When I was in early elementary school we had just moved into a bigger house and there was a room without any furniture in it aside from a dining chair in one corner. I'd sit in that corner chair nearly every day after school because I'd … Continue reading Flashback Friday – My Spinning Room
autistic
Parenting is Unpredictable
After writing my Flashback Friday post about planning, I started thinking about the most unpredictable parts of my life and how I manage those. Parenting has given me more practice in unexpected situations than anything else in my life. Mostly I do okay with this. I'm actually very good at analyzing situations that I expect … Continue reading Parenting is Unpredictable
Blending In, Acceptance, and Disappointing Others
I'm not sure when I learned that I needed to blend in with others for self-preservation purposes. I'm certain that I was very young though. I know for a fact that this knowledge within myself was fairly firmly in place by the time I was 7 years old. Possibly earlier. Blending and the sense that … Continue reading Blending In, Acceptance, and Disappointing Others
Flashback Friday – Planning Everything
[image description: blue sky and cloud background. Text reads: "I picture myself running and my distress pursuing close behind. I will run at top speed if I'm around any other people, but eventually I get tired and the distress keeps getting bigger with longer legs until it can easily reach me. I try to ensure … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Planning Everything
A Letter of Encouragement and Support
To my Dear Neurosiblings (and to myself, as well), It is courageous to respect your needs. It requires immense strength to be able to admit that you need more support. Making accommodations for yourself or requesting them from others is a difficult task, at best. It can feel insurmountable at worst. It can feel like … Continue reading A Letter of Encouragement and Support
Communication Discouragement
I've felt a bit discouraged today. My rough two weeks are finished, but they were followed by another week, which had some difficult surprises of its own. That week began with a pretty startling (to me) miscommunication. I had tried my very best to craft a clear, concise, informational letter only to receive in return … Continue reading Communication Discouragement
Time, Mutism, and Levels of Communication
In late April I figured out something else about some of the communication issues in my marriage, which led to a realization that there seem to be different levels of communication for me. Some are easier than others and I can occasionally experience mutism regarding the more difficult types while still managing to use the … Continue reading Time, Mutism, and Levels of Communication
Stress and Avoidance
My default response to stress is avoidance. This is often unfortunate because avoidance tends to make the stress worse and yet, I always seem to end up there again the next time a large dose of stress catches me unaware. Currently I have a lot going on. There are multiple uncertainties I have to deal … Continue reading Stress and Avoidance
Reactions and Assumptions
I mentioned the idea of assumptions briefly in a previous post regarding how others often assume that Autistics are overreacting in various situations that we're actually experiencing as distressing or even traumatic. I'd also like for parents, teachers, and other professionals to be taught that we aren't overreacting in those situations. Rather, we are reacting … Continue reading Reactions and Assumptions
You’re In My Spot
Being upset when someone sits in "our" chair or takes "our" spot is an Autistic reaction that has moved from stereotype to joke. It's a bad joke because it's making fun of something that's often involuntary and extremely distressing to many of us. I realize that it can appear that we're overreacting to those who only see … Continue reading You’re In My Spot
Mamautistic 