I want to write about how arrogant it is to assume that one knows what another person intends better than that other person does. Quick note: I'm not talking about intuition or situations of abuse. If your intuition is telling you that someone is not a good person for you to be around then you … Continue reading Accomodation, Assumption, & Presumption
understanding
#ActuallyAutistic Voices
I could've alternatively titled this, "In which Aria attempts to stimulate *allistic empathy for Autistics." Chorus -- Allistics (non-autistics) who do not listen to Autistic voices are wholly unable to accurately represent Autistic perspectives and yet they are often the ones considered "Autism Experts." CW: Some swears for emphasis, brief mention of suicide, some links … Continue reading #ActuallyAutistic Voices
Accuracy in Questions and Answers
Disclaimer: When you've met one allistic (non-autistic), you've met one allistic! The communication quirks and difficulties my allistic counterpart presents may be totally different than the communication quirks and difficulties another allistic counterpart may present. My allistic counterpart and I recently unearthed another communication issue in our marriage. When I ask a question it's because … Continue reading Accuracy in Questions and Answers
My Allistic Counterpart
Finally I've settled on something to call my husband on this blog. He's my counterpart. Not only is that term accurate it also calls to my mind Star Wars' C-3P0 and R2-D2 which is a huge bonus in my opinion ❤ Anyhow! I've been married to a non-autistic (allistic) man pretty much for my entire … Continue reading My Allistic Counterpart
Gender and Pronouns
I'm non-binary agender. Sometimes I joke (in a not really joking way) that my gender is "Autistic" and that feels about right. Part of my mind is still good with "female" or "demi-girl" because they're somewhat familiar. I don't feel upset by she/her pronouns either -- familiarity goes a long way for me. The only … Continue reading Gender and Pronouns
Requesting Support – Doctor Edition
A while ago I posted my letter to my dentist, which was my first attempt at letting a medical provider know that I'm Autistic and that I do, in fact, need specific accommodations and support during appointments. It has helped at the dentist, I think. The staff seem to take more time with me (allowing … Continue reading Requesting Support – Doctor Edition
Vital Inconsistencies – Autistic Parenting
I have found that there's this idea in modern parenting that leads to a great deal of what I'd call "unnecessary consistencies." The idea is basically that if children do something childish or inappropriate then they'll forever be doing it. Or, conversely, that if they aren't doing something that will eventually become necessary for them … Continue reading Vital Inconsistencies – Autistic Parenting
Preformed Performing
Reflections on my life and activism after re-reading "Clinically Significant Disturbance: On Theorists Who Theorize Theory of Mind" and being so tired & wordless lately. I have been a painfully honest person performing a preformed lie. Obsessed with accuracy in every other area of life, I still found myself trying to blend in. Trying to … Continue reading Preformed Performing
Ableism and the War on Drugs
CW: police misconduct, the war on drugs, racism. I've been upset and dismayed, but not surprised, over the last few days as reports of the police officer mistreating Connor Leibel have shown up all over my social media feeds. As someone who has extensively studied the history and sociology of drug use and prohibition, I believe … Continue reading Ableism and the War on Drugs
Autism Parent Meeting – Tragedy, Mourning, and Divorce
I'm finally pulling my thoughts together a bit more regarding the Autism Parent Meeting I attended a while back. CW: Ableism, autism parents (usually non-Autistic parents of Autistic children who tend towards wanting to "fix" their children), tragedy rhetoric, temporary abandonment, and verbal abuse. The narrative, over all, was one of tragedy and upset. Many … Continue reading Autism Parent Meeting – Tragedy, Mourning, and Divorce
Mamautistic 