I think that one of the best feelings in the world is the feeling of being understood by someone else. Sadly, being Autistic has meant that most people in my life have completely misunderstood me the vast majority of the time. Every time I read something written by another Autistic person, I feel understood. Someone … Continue reading Feeling Understood
validation
Being Believed
Now that I'm an adult, people sometimes believe me about my sensory issues. I wish they'd believed me as a child. I wish that I hadn't gone through decades of not-knowing that everyone else didn't feel and experience the world the way I did. It still shocks me when I'm believed by other people. I … Continue reading Being Believed
My Autistic Friends
Happy discount chocolate day! These are my thoughts about my lovely autistic friends and how much I value their friendships. In some ways it's a love letter, but more than that it's full of gratitude and other deep feelings that I cannot quite label with emotion names right now. Maybe someday 🙂 Spending time with other … Continue reading My Autistic Friends
Flashback Friday – Evaluation Result Day
The morning of my final appointment, the one at which I would get my evaluation results, was a Friday morning very similar to this one. Ten weeks ago. Beforehand I wrote this (some strong and self-deprecating language) in my paper journal: What the fuck was I thinking? Today is the day. I don't see how there … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Evaluation Result Day
Truth, Emotions, and Potential Evaluation Outcomes
To prepare for my evaluation I had spent nearly two months searching through my memories, talking to people from my past, and writing things down. Mostly I was looking through the lens of likely being Autistic, but I was aware that there could potentially be another explanation that I hadn't considered or didn't know about. … Continue reading Truth, Emotions, and Potential Evaluation Outcomes
I’m Not a Failure
This is the third, and shortest, excerpt from what I wrote the evening after finishing Aspergirls. Reading that book had given me a lot to think about regarding my past. It both validated my perspective/memories and gave me a great deal of hope for my future: I guess I thought that everyone else was like me but that I … Continue reading I’m Not a Failure
Representation – A Book About Me!
About 20 days after my first journal entry so many years ago, I wrote more. This was the day after I received my copy of Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome by Rudy Simone. Hooray for ordering books online! So, I finished reading Aspergirls before 2pm today. Pretty much read it non-stop from the minute I picked … Continue reading Representation – A Book About Me!
Everything Makes Sense
Soon after I took the online Aspie Test, I began periodically journaling privately in order to help myself remember the things I was learning and discovering. I'm going to rely fairly heavily on my journaling from that time in my next set of posts so that I can most accurately convey my thought process and feelings … Continue reading Everything Makes Sense
Other Oddities – Face “Blindness”
Part two, describing my other oddities. At the point when I took the Aspie Quiz for the very first time, I had already discovered a few other odd things about myself. The first thing I discovered was Sensory Processing Disorder, which mainly required planning ahead and being aware of my surroundings in order to minimize the discomfort … Continue reading Other Oddities – Face “Blindness”
My Self Doubt and Diagnosis
As I said in my previous post, my journey towards my neurological self-discovery began several years ago. After realizing that I was quite different, neurologically-speaking, from my husband and several other friends whom I also asked to take the Aspie Quiz as control subjects, I immersed myself in reading books, taking online tests, and seeking … Continue reading My Self Doubt and Diagnosis
Mamautistic 