I could’ve alternatively titled this, “In which Aria attempts to stimulate *allistic empathy for Autistics.”

Chorus — Allistics (non-autistics) who do not listen to Autistic voices are wholly unable to accurately represent Autistic perspectives and yet they are often the ones considered “Autism Experts.”

CW: Some swears for emphasis, brief mention of suicide, some links are to articles discussing anti-Autistic eugenics or suicide rates/causes.

It’s difficult to explain exactly how inaccurate allistic perspectives about us really are. The difference between reading something about autism from someone who lacks autism vs reading something about autism from an Autistic person is astronomical.

If you aren’t listening to Autistic voices (or at the very least listening to people who themselves listen to and cite Autistic voices, although at some point the telephone game comes to mind) regarding autism then your understanding of autism and of how Autistic people experience the world is not going to be accurate.

Period. Full stop.

There is no grey area here, folks.

If you are an allistic who carefully listens to and gives preference to Autistic voices then you might have a chance of portraying us somewhat accurately, but even then you need to tread really fucking carefully.

Chorus — Allistics who do not listen to Autistic voices are wholly unable to accurately represent Autistic perspectives and yet they are often the ones considered “Autism Experts.” 

Let’s consider some alternative scenarios. I want you, **dear allistic reader, to bring to mind something essential about your beliefs or being. What’s your religion? What are your political beliefs? What’s your economic standing? Who ARE you at your very core? What essentials have shaped your life?

Now imagine that the only people in the world who are considered experts about who you are or your beliefs are the people who are most diametrically opposed, outright hostile towards you and/or your beliefs. Maybe these are even people who would be beyond thrilled if people like you or if beliefs like yours were completely eradicated from the earth. Not that they’d say such a thing in so blunt of a way (in your presence, if known), but the sentiment is there nonetheless.

So, if you’re a Christian you could imagine a world where only Atheists are “Christianity Experts” or vice versa, if you’re an Atheist, only Christians are “Atheism Experts.” If you’re liberal (or conservative) then only conservatives (or liberals) are experts about why you hold the political beliefs you do.

Let me be excruciatingly clear about this: These “Experts” are the only ones who get interviews and book deals to write at length about your way of thought and (lack of) reasoning from their perspective. Furthermore, their perspective is the only one that matters to everyone in the world who isn’t in your subgroup.

This means that society’s views of your or your deeply held beliefs are solely based on these “(Hostile Opposing Viewpoint) Expert” opinions. In fact, as soon as you mention that you hold the views you do, you’re dismissed as not being able to contribute anything to the discussion because you’re clearly biased if you hold those views. Untrusted by others to convey your very own process of reasoning as books are being written and speeches are being given about you but not for you.

What would you do in response? How would that make you feel?

Please take a moment and really think about it. Some of you know from experience while to others this is only a thought exercise. Either way it feels kind of shitty, am I right? Even in your imagination?

As for myself, it makes me feel helpless and hopeless.

Interestingly enough (because I read the thesaurus for fun) the first synonym listed under “hopeless” is “desperate.” Think about that for a minute. Then move down the list to helpless, pointless, tragic, useless. Consider then the particularly high suicide rate for Autistics.

Unlike political beliefs, lifestyles, and religious beliefs; Autistic is who we are.

Autism encompasses everything.

Autism is ubiquitous, inescapable (positive or negative), total, and complete in my life.

Autism is part of everything I do, think, and experience. Autism is part of everything that’s me. Being Autistic affects everything.

Autism is always present and it completes me.

If I wasn’t Autistic then I wouldn’t be myself.

Chorus — Allistics (non-autistics) who do not listen to Autistic voices are wholly unable to accurately represent Autistic perspectives and yet they are often the ones considered “Autism Experts.” 

I can, to some degree, walk (metaphorically) outside the bounds of my politics and religion and class. I can learn about other people’s reasoning and try to see where they’re coming from even as I continue to disagree.

But autism is not something with which to disagree. It’s part of our very essence and how our brains work on a fundamental level. It is not a thing to be eradicated or that we can put on or take off. The only people who truly know what it’s like to be Autistic are other Autistic people.

“Hello!” (said with the precise intonation of Hannah Hart from My Drunk Kitchen).

We are here. We are attempting to communicate, but communication takes at least two people. We’re doing our part, now fucking listen to us.

I highly recommend reading “My Story is Mine to Tell” by Amy Sequenzia for more about this topic if you are, indeed, ready to fucking listen.

Chorus (all together now!) — Allistics (non-autistics) who do not listen to Autistic voices are wholly unable to accurately represent Autistic perspectives and yet they are often the ones considered “Autism Experts.” 

Notes:

*As Melanie Yergeau writes in Authoring Autism:

“What is so remarkable about allism is its assumption that allos and autos are binaristic poles, blips on a continuum that speak towards the autistic’s lack of sociality and thereby moral degradation. But what is an other-centeredness if that centeredness cannot center the autistic Other?”

**Yes, I have been reading more classic literature lately. Why do you ask, Gentle Reader?