[TW: description of experiencing a meltdown, some suicidal thoughts, thoughts of self-harming, and possibly other things that I can't think of at the moment] I sit here, still a bit shaken by the epic meltdown I experienced three nights ago, and I worry that if my friends really knew me, really, that they wouldn't like … Continue reading Unlovable
Author: Mamautistic
Remembering How Others See Us
My time is arranged specifically in many ways so that I can manage life in general. These arrangements also serve to keep me away from professionals, teachers, and other people who have been trained to see us as "people with autism" or "defective" or whathaveyou. Primarily I interact with people who know I'm Autistic, but accept … Continue reading Remembering How Others See Us
Doing the Scary Things
Right now I'm in the process of doing three of the scariest things I've ever done in my life. They're not things I can write directly about lest my anonymity be somewhat more compromised than I'm comfortable with, but it really hit me today how far outside my comfort zone I've gotten with just my … Continue reading Doing the Scary Things
Perfection is an Illusion
I'm not perfect. I never claimed to be. But for some reason when I fall short of perfection my brain tells me that I've failed at something that should have been possible. The reality is that nobody's perfect. Expecting it of ourselves or even thinking that other people might be it... can be highly damaging. … Continue reading Perfection is an Illusion
How (Not) to Disappear
Disappearing is a word that is used, primarily by my local circle of friends, to describe when one of us stops communicating for a while and stops visiting social media either mostly or completely. We've all done it from time to time, some more than others and each to varying degrees. So what does this … Continue reading How (Not) to Disappear
Outsourcing Executive Functioning – Family Meetings
I, like many Autistic people, struggle with executive functioning (EF), which makes many aspects of parenting and running a household especially difficult for me. Note: For a general overview of what EF is and how it can impact people's lives, please check out this series of posts from Cynthia Kim. Over the past several months, … Continue reading Outsourcing Executive Functioning – Family Meetings
Communication is Hard
In going through my saved links recently for a different post, I came across this post from Cynthia Kim --Echolalia and Scripting: Straddling the Border of Functional Language. I've read it before, of course, that's why it's in my saved links; but today this quote from it felt really familiar. It describes a recent experience … Continue reading Communication is Hard
Time to Work Through the Past
Over the last 3 months, I've had a dizzying array of personal and professional realizations. I've had to revisit and revise still more memories in light of these revelations and I do not like it. Not even a little bit. Not that the realizations themselves have been bad, quite the contrary, but the work to … Continue reading Time to Work Through the Past
Book – Autism and Asperger Syndrome in Adults
Over this past month I've been gradually reading Autism and Asperger Syndrome in Adults by Dr. Luke Beardon. I enjoyed reading this concise overview of some of the ways being Autistic affects many of us. I found several sections to be helpful in my own life both currently and in helping to reframe more of my past … Continue reading Book – Autism and Asperger Syndrome in Adults
Review Reblog: Nerdy, Shy and Socially Inappropriate by Cynthia Kim
Great review of Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate by Cynthia Kim. Counterpart found this to be the most helpful book for trying to understand me better ❤ So I wholeheartedly recommend it for allistic (non-autistic) spouses, partners, friends, etc. I loved it myself too!
Mamautistic 