This is a first for me. I've never written a blog this personal and I've certainly never written 100 posts on a blog before. My previous attempts at blogging, without knowing I was Autistic or perhaps suspecting but not really having that acceptance or understanding yet, all fell apart very quickly. It's impossible to write … Continue reading Number 100
acceptance
Augmentative and Alternative Communication
I journaled about AAC (Augmentative & Alternative Communication) back in May, but have only just now gotten around to turning it into a post. The AAC #autchat a bit over a week ago inspired me to get it written finally! So I've been thinking for several months about making some AAC cards for times when … Continue reading Augmentative and Alternative Communication
Blending In, Acceptance, and Disappointing Others
I'm not sure when I learned that I needed to blend in with others for self-preservation purposes. I'm certain that I was very young though. I know for a fact that this knowledge within myself was fairly firmly in place by the time I was 7 years old. Possibly earlier. Blending and the sense that … Continue reading Blending In, Acceptance, and Disappointing Others
Flashback Friday – Planning Everything
[image description: blue sky and cloud background. Text reads: "I picture myself running and my distress pursuing close behind. I will run at top speed if I'm around any other people, but eventually I get tired and the distress keeps getting bigger with longer legs until it can easily reach me. I try to ensure … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Planning Everything
A Letter of Encouragement and Support
To my Dear Neurosiblings (and to myself, as well), It is courageous to respect your needs. It requires immense strength to be able to admit that you need more support. Making accommodations for yourself or requesting them from others is a difficult task, at best. It can feel insurmountable at worst. It can feel like … Continue reading A Letter of Encouragement and Support
Communication Discouragement
I've felt a bit discouraged today. My rough two weeks are finished, but they were followed by another week, which had some difficult surprises of its own. That week began with a pretty startling (to me) miscommunication. I had tried my very best to craft a clear, concise, informational letter only to receive in return … Continue reading Communication Discouragement
Time, Mutism, and Levels of Communication
In late April I figured out something else about some of the communication issues in my marriage, which led to a realization that there seem to be different levels of communication for me. Some are easier than others and I can occasionally experience mutism regarding the more difficult types while still managing to use the … Continue reading Time, Mutism, and Levels of Communication
Burned Bridges
For most of my life, my experiences were confusing and inexplicable. I could not explain, even to myself, most of what happened to me, others' reactions, or my own reactions to what was happening. In a post earlier this year I wrote: In the past I’ve run away from these events. I’d never return to … Continue reading Burned Bridges
Uniqueness and Late-Diagnosis
I've heard it said by allistics (non-Autistics) that people who are late-diagnosed Autistic just "want to be unique" or "think we're special." This is sometimes even theorized as the reason we go in to be evaluated as adults. Let's ignore the fact that many of us struggled, floundered, and failed for many years before gaining … Continue reading Uniqueness and Late-Diagnosis
Convergence
CW: the feeling of overwhelm All the things meeting together. April Autism Awareness, past resurfacing, traumatic space revisiting. Utter exhaustion. Hiding from the world, mostly. Time stretches on, limitless. Pulls, longer and longer. Floating in infinity. Until, like a rubber band, it snaps. Suddenly, it's two weeks in the future and there are hundreds of unread … Continue reading Convergence
Mamautistic 