There are so many posts and articles written by Autistics about how utterly wrong "functioning labels" are. How inaccurate. Why we generally don't like them. Responding with a functioning label-based observation is such a pervasive response from allistics (non-Autistics) that I think nearly every Autistic writer ends up addressing that nonsense sooner or later. I … Continue reading But You’re High Functioning
burnout
Flashback Friday – Depression
TW: depression, eating disorder, self-harm, sexual assault (very brief mention), and suicidal thoughts/actions. CW: Higher education, therapy. My first official psychological diagnosis was Major Depression nearly 15 years ago. I was in college and, although I'd been extremely excited about attending college at first, my experience had rapidly gone downhill ever since I'd first arrived … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Depression
So I Attended An “Autism Parent Meeting”
And I've been struggling greatly ever since in pretty much every sense of the word "struggling." I'd read and heard enough to know that the meeting wouldn't be a good place for me, but I wanted to see for myself. I attended legitimately as a parent of an Autistic child and chose not to disclose that … Continue reading So I Attended An “Autism Parent Meeting”
Blending In, Acceptance, and Disappointing Others
I'm not sure when I learned that I needed to blend in with others for self-preservation purposes. I'm certain that I was very young though. I know for a fact that this knowledge within myself was fairly firmly in place by the time I was 7 years old. Possibly earlier. Blending and the sense that … Continue reading Blending In, Acceptance, and Disappointing Others
A Letter of Encouragement and Support
To my Dear Neurosiblings (and to myself, as well), It is courageous to respect your needs. It requires immense strength to be able to admit that you need more support. Making accommodations for yourself or requesting them from others is a difficult task, at best. It can feel insurmountable at worst. It can feel like … Continue reading A Letter of Encouragement and Support
Uniqueness and Late-Diagnosis
I've heard it said by allistics (non-Autistics) that people who are late-diagnosed Autistic just "want to be unique" or "think we're special." This is sometimes even theorized as the reason we go in to be evaluated as adults. Let's ignore the fact that many of us struggled, floundered, and failed for many years before gaining … Continue reading Uniqueness and Late-Diagnosis
Convergence
CW: the feeling of overwhelm All the things meeting together. April Autism Awareness, past resurfacing, traumatic space revisiting. Utter exhaustion. Hiding from the world, mostly. Time stretches on, limitless. Pulls, longer and longer. Floating in infinity. Until, like a rubber band, it snaps. Suddenly, it's two weeks in the future and there are hundreds of unread … Continue reading Convergence
Reflections on My First Autistic April
My apologies for not writing much recently. I've been recovering from April, as I'm sure many of my readers have been too. I underestimated how difficult my first Autistic April would be and have been resting this week. Of course I was Autistic all the other Aprils of my life, but this past month was the … Continue reading Reflections on My First Autistic April
(Mis)Understanding and Responsibility
Learning that I was Autistic was a daunting, overwhelming thing. On the one hand, it explained everything. Learning that I'm Autistic has been one of the best things that has ever happened to me. But, on the other hand, it's overwhelming and discouraging to think about how allistics (non-Autistics) will likely never understand and will … Continue reading (Mis)Understanding and Responsibility
Politics, Discouragement, and Energy
I'm writing this post primarily for myself so please don't read it if you're feeling horribly overwhelmed by politics right now too. Maybe it'll help others to know that they aren't the only ones feeling this way though, so I'm putting it out here! I'm getting ever more discouraged with the state of political discourse … Continue reading Politics, Discouragement, and Energy
Mamautistic 