Words have been difficult again for a long time. In my mind I can often make the words, but then they won't come out or when they do come out it's not how I intended them to. So I've been rethinking about talking at all. The fact is that I do better when I don't … Continue reading Not Talking, Insert More Title Here
burnout
Nearly a Month
I'm still untangling some things, working through some others. My words come and go. April is always a bit rough for awareness reasons. But this April I'm figuring things out, untangling my life. I'm reading so many great books that I need to write reviews for very soon! My interests, family, and friends are constant … Continue reading Nearly a Month
Broken But Building Back
My words are starting to return a little bit. It's been months. Goodness only knows how long it'll take for them to be back to any kind of "normal" (for me) level. I think I wrote the quoted bit below about being wordless around a week ago. ____________________________ It's funny how wonky time goes. Buried, … Continue reading Broken But Building Back
Just Do It! Or Not.
There's a lot of motivational speak out there that encourages just doing the thing (usually it's the exercise-related ones I see most often) if you don't want to. Generally speaking, that's probably good advice. I don't often want to do various things around the house or to take care of myself, but life is generally … Continue reading Just Do It! Or Not.
Blown Fuses and Communication
It occurred to me today that my communication abilities are a bit like a panel of fuses or breakers in a house. I only have the most basic understanding of electrical stuff, but it seems to make sense to me based on what I know. When I get overloaded in one area, it will become … Continue reading Blown Fuses and Communication
How (Not) to Disappear
Disappearing is a word that is used, primarily by my local circle of friends, to describe when one of us stops communicating for a while and stops visiting social media either mostly or completely. We've all done it from time to time, some more than others and each to varying degrees. So what does this … Continue reading How (Not) to Disappear
Emotional Containment Failure
I usually can't name my emotions. This is not an optimal thing, of course, because emotions can affect all kinds of things and it's difficult to control or understand such things when I'm unaware of what they even are. So I somehow developed a containment system over the years. I have this ability to lock … Continue reading Emotional Containment Failure
Slogging Through Burnout
It was probably November of 2016 when I really crashed hard. I got my autism diagnosis in August and then began getting extensive dental work done soon after, which sapped most of my energy. Goodness, and looking up old posts it seems that 2016 was just a difficult year of grieving in general. I'd forgotten … Continue reading Slogging Through Burnout
Tomorrow
I'll do it tomorrow, I always think. There's plenty of time. But tomorrow never comes and the time slips away. Suddenly it's been two weeks and I've nothing tangible to show for it. Nothing visible, nothing that seems important. But I have done things. I finished reading Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate and Library of … Continue reading Tomorrow
Brainspace and Recent Happenings
I've been absent a bit lately. My mind hasn't been able to fit writing in around everything else that's been going on. See, I have a limited amount of brainspace available at any given time and it's just been filled with so much else that going on twitter and writing really haven't featured in much. … Continue reading Brainspace and Recent Happenings
Mamautistic 