When things get hectic, stressful, or busy I often will get low on words. This isn't the same thing as losing words completely, but my ability to effectively communicate becomes lessened. I began writing this post months ago, but April's interactions with non-Autistics have already stolen many of my words so it's very relevant right now. … Continue reading Low on Words
Self-discovery
Being Autistic is Everything – Autistic Acceptance
Autism is pervasive. That's the official term: pervasive : existing in... every part of something In my words, autism encompasses everything. Autism is ubiquitous, inescapable (positive or negative), total, and complete in my life. Autism is part of everything I do, think, and experience. Autism is part of everything that's me. Being Autistic affects everything. Autism … Continue reading Being Autistic is Everything – Autistic Acceptance
Messing Up Such a Simple Thing
Sometimes I'll be going along, doing fairly well, and then I'll mess up again. In a big way. Patterns in my life often emerge from new situations and experiences because they aren't really new. These are things that have been happening my entire life, but that I never had the ability to describe or explain … Continue reading Messing Up Such a Simple Thing
Representation in Fiction – On the Edge of Gone
Last week I finally got a lovely hard-bound copy of Corinne Duyvis' book On the Edge of Gone. It was a wonderful read! I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys Young Adult and/or apocalyptic-type fiction. Honestly, even if you don't like those genres, if you're allistic (non-Autistic) and close to someone who's Autistic then you would … Continue reading Representation in Fiction – On the Edge of Gone
Feeling Understood
I think that one of the best feelings in the world is the feeling of being understood by someone else. Sadly, being Autistic has meant that most people in my life have completely misunderstood me the vast majority of the time. Every time I read something written by another Autistic person, I feel understood. Someone … Continue reading Feeling Understood
Volunteering
Over the years I've tried to pay attention to my ability to do various things. However, I don't always manage to notice the relevant patterns until I've ended up in (multiple) difficult and/or embarrassing situations. Volunteering was one of the patternless things in my life until this month. From the time I was 12 years old, … Continue reading Volunteering
Body Language – When the Knowledge Doesn’t Transfer
Sometimes I say, rather hyperbolically, that I didn't know about non-verbal communication until I was nearly 29 years old. It's a nice sound-bite, but like most nice sound-bites, it's not strictly true. I did know about some types of non-verbal communication before then. I knew that shrugging meant "I don't know." I knew that nodding meant … Continue reading Body Language – When the Knowledge Doesn’t Transfer
Negative Memories and Confusion
So, I mentioned in my previous post, that it's easier for me to access my positive memories than my negative memories. I've spent some time since writing that (it was scheduled several days ahead of publishing, this post is not) in thinking about why that might be and I believe the answer partially lies in … Continue reading Negative Memories and Confusion
‘Reading’ People
It was almost exactly a month after my last journal entry when I wrote this: my third and final journal entry from four years ago. To give some context, I wrote this entry after I'd done a great deal of research into the things I hadn't known I didn't know. At this point, I was getting … Continue reading ‘Reading’ People
Controlling?
Moving on to elaborate about the "controlling person" bit that was briefly introduced in last Saturday's post, from my journaling ~4 years ago: The accusation that I was controlling has always baffled me. More than a couple of people have had that opinion and yet... in order to be controlling, one would actually need to … Continue reading Controlling?
Mamautistic 