Time makes all the difference. When I have time, I can adjust my expectations. Time gives me an opportunity to analyze both what's happening outside myself and what's happening within. I have limited processing energy for dealing with outward changes and if I'm focused on that, I cannot pay attention to what's happening within myself. … Continue reading More About Time and Support
meltdown
Flashback Friday – Planning Everything
[image description: blue sky and cloud background. Text reads: "I picture myself running and my distress pursuing close behind. I will run at top speed if I'm around any other people, but eventually I get tired and the distress keeps getting bigger with longer legs until it can easily reach me. I try to ensure … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Planning Everything
(Mis)Understanding and Responsibility
Learning that I was Autistic was a daunting, overwhelming thing. On the one hand, it explained everything. Learning that I'm Autistic has been one of the best things that has ever happened to me. But, on the other hand, it's overwhelming and discouraging to think about how allistics (non-Autistics) will likely never understand and will … Continue reading (Mis)Understanding and Responsibility
Messing Up Such a Simple Thing
Sometimes I'll be going along, doing fairly well, and then I'll mess up again. In a big way. Patterns in my life often emerge from new situations and experiences because they aren't really new. These are things that have been happening my entire life, but that I never had the ability to describe or explain … Continue reading Messing Up Such a Simple Thing
Not an Excuse
Contrary to many allistics' (non-autistics') perceptions, Autistics disclosing our Autism to them is not a "get out of jail free card" or an "excuse for bad behavior." Yes, often we disclose our Autistic status in order to try and make our lives a bit easier, but under the circumstances, that's not necessarily a bad thing and … Continue reading Not an Excuse
Grocery Store Meltdown
This is a long post. Most of it was written the morning after the incident that precipitated my meltdown. It is now several days since that happened, but I'm keeping the wording mostly the same. My meltdowns seem to be getting rarer and rarer as I get older (a good thing!), so I won't have as … Continue reading Grocery Store Meltdown
Parenting While Autistic – Kids’ Sports
I was reminded, while catching up with The Silent Wave's blog today, that I will soon be gearing up for a new sports-season with one of my children, whom I will refer to as "sporty-child" for this post, which is primarily about me, not them. I'm going to be extremely vague about said sport in … Continue reading Parenting While Autistic – Kids’ Sports
When the Unexpected Happens at the Dentist
CW: Dental work discussed in passing after the first paragraph. Medical professional belittling a patient mentioned briefly, as well. Sometimes the unexpected is enough to cause a complete melt down or shut down. Other times, it can be okay. It seems to primarily depend on how unknown the unexpected event is to me, how it's handled by … Continue reading When the Unexpected Happens at the Dentist
Going to the Dentist
I had a dentist appointment last week at which I got a temporary crown and cleaning. My jaw felt like someone had punched me for the first 2-3 days afterwards. The visit started off poorly from the beginning, with me forgetting to bring money and having to go back home for it. So, instead of … Continue reading Going to the Dentist
Disclaimers
Image description: Photo of Spock on the bridge of the Enterprise with the quote, "If I seem insensitive to what you're going through, Captain, understand: it's the way I am." ~Spock, Star Trek "The Enemy Within" As I was reminded by a good friend the other day, disclaimers can be a powerful way to address misconceptions and difficulties … Continue reading Disclaimers
Mamautistic 