Words have been difficult again for a long time. In my mind I can often make the words, but then they won't come out or when they do come out it's not how I intended them to. So I've been rethinking about talking at all. The fact is that I do better when I don't … Continue reading Not Talking, Insert More Title Here
mutism
Nearly a Month
I'm still untangling some things, working through some others. My words come and go. April is always a bit rough for awareness reasons. But this April I'm figuring things out, untangling my life. I'm reading so many great books that I need to write reviews for very soon! My interests, family, and friends are constant … Continue reading Nearly a Month
Liars are Illusions or How Gaslighting Leads to Meltdowns
All week I've been mulling over how lying (either to or about me) is one of the fastest ways for someone else to bring me to a state of meltdown. I considered why that might be the case and then came across a perceptive tweet regarding another liar, the father in the #PuppetGate play, which … Continue reading Liars are Illusions or How Gaslighting Leads to Meltdowns
Broken But Building Back
My words are starting to return a little bit. It's been months. Goodness only knows how long it'll take for them to be back to any kind of "normal" (for me) level. I think I wrote the quoted bit below about being wordless around a week ago. ____________________________ It's funny how wonky time goes. Buried, … Continue reading Broken But Building Back
Perfection is an Illusion
I'm not perfect. I never claimed to be. But for some reason when I fall short of perfection my brain tells me that I've failed at something that should have been possible. The reality is that nobody's perfect. Expecting it of ourselves or even thinking that other people might be it... can be highly damaging. … Continue reading Perfection is an Illusion
My Allistic Counterpart
Finally I've settled on something to call my husband on this blog. He's my counterpart. Not only is that term accurate it also calls to my mind Star Wars' C-3P0 and R2-D2 which is a huge bonus in my opinion ❤ Anyhow! I've been married to a non-autistic (allistic) man pretty much for my entire … Continue reading My Allistic Counterpart
Re-Stating (Writing) Dentist Supports
CW: Dentist visit After avoiding dentists by necessity (no extra money or dental insurance) for most of my life, it seems that I'm seeing the dentist with alarming regularity these days. Bad tooth genetics, struggles to find a regular tooth hygiene routine that works for any amount of time, and a lack of previous dental … Continue reading Re-Stating (Writing) Dentist Supports
Requesting Support – Doctor Edition
A while ago I posted my letter to my dentist, which was my first attempt at letting a medical provider know that I'm Autistic and that I do, in fact, need specific accommodations and support during appointments. It has helped at the dentist, I think. The staff seem to take more time with me (allowing … Continue reading Requesting Support – Doctor Edition
Dental Emergency
CW: dentist visit, tooth issues - nothing described in detail. I have a thing about teeth. One of my biggest fears has always been my teeth falling out. Unfortunately for me, I have really terrible teeth along with awful sensory issues surrounding toothbrushing. We also haven't had any money or insurance coverage to see dentists … Continue reading Dental Emergency
More About Time and Support
Time makes all the difference. When I have time, I can adjust my expectations. Time gives me an opportunity to analyze both what's happening outside myself and what's happening within. I have limited processing energy for dealing with outward changes and if I'm focused on that, I cannot pay attention to what's happening within myself. … Continue reading More About Time and Support
Mamautistic 