I completely missed the actual day of my diagnosis anniversary earlier this month š¦ But today is the anniversary of when I started blogging here! This is going to be a recap of the year type of post, I think, looking at my life post-diagnosis. Being part of the online Autistic Community has helped my … Continue reading One Year of Blogging
knowledge
Number 100
This is a first for me. I've never written a blog this personal and I've certainly never written 100 posts on a blog before. My previous attempts at blogging, without knowing I was Autistic or perhaps suspecting but not really having that acceptance or understanding yet, all fell apart very quickly. It's impossible to write … Continue reading Number 100
Burned Bridges
For most of my life, my experiences were confusing and inexplicable. I could not explain, even to myself, most of what happened to me, others' reactions, or my own reactions to what was happening. In a post earlier this year I wrote: In the past Iāve run away from these events. Iād never return to … Continue reading Burned Bridges
Flashback Friday – Freshman Year of College
CW: Passing mention of being suicidalĀ and (later) skipping meals. I was so excited to leave home! My college choice was even based on the fact that it was over a thousand miles away from my parents' home. I could've gone to a state school, just over a hundred miles away, but I wanted to get … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Freshman Year of College
Reflections on My First Autistic April
MyĀ apologies for not writing much recently. I've been recovering from April, as I'm sure many of my readers have been too. I underestimated how difficult my first Autistic April would be and have been resting this week. Of course I was Autistic all the other Aprils of my life, but this past month was the … Continue reading Reflections on My First Autistic April
Feelings, Emotions, and Uncertainty
At any given time, I cannot tell how I'm feeling emotionally. Sometimes physical sensations can be understood and named in the moment, but actual emotions are slippery and defy categorization. Even once I've managed to grab hold and examine the emotion sometime in the future, it remains largely a mystery to me. "How are you?" … Continue reading Feelings, Emotions, and Uncertainty
Old Writings
I was going through some of my old writings the other day and I discovered a few common themes woven throughout it all. For context, these notebooks were post-collegeĀ and pre-mother: mainly 2003-2005. I wrote a lot during those 2 years and I didn't have the time or motivation to read them thoroughly, but I skimmed … Continue reading Old Writings
Being Autistic is Everything – Autistic Acceptance
Autism is pervasive. That's the official term: pervasive : existing in... every part of something In my words, autism encompasses everything. Autism is ubiquitous, inescapable (positive orĀ negative), total, and complete in my life. Autism is part of everything I do, think, and experience. Autism is part of everything that's me. Being Autistic affects everything. Autism … Continue reading Being Autistic is Everything – Autistic Acceptance
Messing Up Such a Simple Thing
Sometimes I'll be going along, doing fairly well, and then I'll mess up again. In a big way. Patterns in my life often emerge from new situations and experiences because they aren't really new. These are things that have been happening my entire life, but that I never had the ability to describe or explain … Continue reading Messing Up Such a Simple Thing
Not an Excuse
Contrary to many allistics' (non-autistics') perceptions, Autistics disclosing our Autism to them is not a "get out of jail free card" or an "excuse for bad behavior." Yes, oftenĀ we disclose our Autistic status in order to try and make our lives a bit easier, but under the circumstances, that's not necessarily a bad thing and … Continue reading Not an Excuse
Mamautistic 