I completely missed the actual day of my diagnosis anniversary earlier this month 😦 But today is the anniversary of when I started blogging here! This is going to be a recap of the year type of post, I think, looking at my life post-diagnosis.
Being part of the online Autistic Community has helped my life a great deal. I have found other people who can relate to my experiences and have learned more ways to cope with difficult things. #AutChat in particular has been one of the most helpful things online.
In my everyday life I kind of took a pause for most of this year. The process of being diagnosed was exhausting, the waiting for a result was so stressful. I’ve been pretty tired ever since then, but of course there were many things leading up to the evaluation process that were exhausting too and I’m not sure how exactly everything factors in and fits together. I’d pretty much reached my breaking point before going in to be evaluated, as I suspect many of us who are diagnosed as adults do. Otherwise we may not have chosen to be evaluated in the first place.
In the past year I helped to start a local organization for Autistic people and attended a local autism parent meeting that was draining and upsetting. I still have more to write about that in the coming year. Both our cats died, I’ve written more than a hundred thousand words relating in some way or another to autism, sporty kid keeps sporting, my others have kept up with their activities too, my home is full of reading, I have a library now, and my piano is not restored yet but has been thoroughly cleaned.
I’ve tried to do more visual arts and play more music. I’m thinking about purchasing Scrivener so that I can actually finish that novel I started during last year’s NaNoWriMo. The writing wasn’t difficult, but the editing of a 60k word manuscript is so overwhelming that I’m not sure I can do it without a specialized tool.
Right now I’m pretty depressed. I think I’m finally ready to look into maybe seeing someone to talk to. Therapy didn’t do much good in the past, but I was lacking such an essential piece of information that I now have so maybe that’ll make a difference. Regardless, I need to do something so I don’t stay in this funk.
Maybe this will be the year when I actually get a primary care doctor (GP) and see the dentist regularly. I’ve had several visits with the same dentist over the last year and I’ve not completely written that dentist off yet, so maybe I can stick with them for a while longer.
My marriage is still together despite continuing to have fairly regular mis-understandings and challenges. We’ll keep working at it.
Has my diagnosis made my life better?
That is the biggest question I would have for someone one year out from diagnosis. My answer is a definite yes.
Sure, I haven’t accomplished all that much this year and seem to have less energy than ever, but knowing, having confirmation, being certain of who I am, and attaining a better understanding how I can be a better person have been absolutely priceless.
I’m Autistic. This is an integral part of who I am. Being Autistic affects everything and now I have a framework through which to view my life. My life makes sense and, whether I like it or not, at least I can better understand the things that happen, the ways I react to the world around me, and the way others react to me.
I’ve learned so much and have more answers than I ever could’ve imagined. I am extremely thankful ❤