I usually can't name my emotions. This is not an optimal thing, of course, because emotions can affect all kinds of things and it's difficult to control or understand such things when I'm unaware of what they even are. So I somehow developed a containment system over the years. I have this ability to lock … Continue reading Emotional Containment Failure
self-care
Talking to Strangers
It's almost always easier for me to talk to strangers than to people I know well unless the person I know well is also Autistic. It's an act of self-care for me to socialize (or not) in ways that are comfortable to me whenever possible. Talking to strangers instead of people I know well can … Continue reading Talking to Strangers
Accomodation, Assumption, & Presumption
I want to write about how arrogant it is to assume that one knows what another person intends better than that other person does. Quick note: I'm not talking about intuition or situations of abuse. If your intuition is telling you that someone is not a good person for you to be around then you … Continue reading Accomodation, Assumption, & Presumption
Slogging Through Burnout
It was probably November of 2016 when I really crashed hard. I got my autism diagnosis in August and then began getting extensive dental work done soon after, which sapped most of my energy. Goodness, and looking up old posts it seems that 2016 was just a difficult year of grieving in general. I'd forgotten … Continue reading Slogging Through Burnout
Autistic Body Language and Emotion
I've written some about this topic before, regarding the joy I feel when I see other Autistic people moving in Autistic ways, but today I want to write about how my own movement affects and reflects my emotions. I get a little sweary at the very end when talking about getting rid of the allistic … Continue reading Autistic Body Language and Emotion
Vital Inconsistencies – Autistic Parenting
I have found that there's this idea in modern parenting that leads to a great deal of what I'd call "unnecessary consistencies." The idea is basically that if children do something childish or inappropriate then they'll forever be doing it. Or, conversely, that if they aren't doing something that will eventually become necessary for them … Continue reading Vital Inconsistencies – Autistic Parenting
Preformed Performing
Reflections on my life and activism after re-reading "Clinically Significant Disturbance: On Theorists Who Theorize Theory of Mind" and being so tired & wordless lately. I have been a painfully honest person performing a preformed lie. Obsessed with accuracy in every other area of life, I still found myself trying to blend in. Trying to … Continue reading Preformed Performing
Flashback Friday – Plush Animals in Public
I've already written about how I lost my Pound Puppy (named Pound Puppy) as a teen and replaced him with another stuffed dog last year. Today, as I've recently been contemplating carrying my new stuffed dog to stressful dentist appointments, some memories of past public carrying have surfaced and are ready to be written about. … Continue reading Flashback Friday – Plush Animals in Public
Brainspace and Recent Happenings
I've been absent a bit lately. My mind hasn't been able to fit writing in around everything else that's been going on. See, I have a limited amount of brainspace available at any given time and it's just been filled with so much else that going on twitter and writing really haven't featured in much. … Continue reading Brainspace and Recent Happenings
One Year of Blogging
I completely missed the actual day of my diagnosis anniversary earlier this month 😦 But today is the anniversary of when I started blogging here! This is going to be a recap of the year type of post, I think, looking at my life post-diagnosis. Being part of the online Autistic Community has helped my … Continue reading One Year of Blogging
Mamautistic 